What Gramps Really Wants For Christmas!


Okay, put the eggnog down and gather ’round to discuss what Gramps wants for Christmas. It isn’t tinsel and it certainly isn’t holly, unless Holly is Gramma’s name…

Christmas presents, Christmas gifts, floor mats, cargo liner, car parts, football tickets, F-250
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Trying to find that perfect gift for Grandpa can certainly be a difficult task. Your Gramps has seen it all, tried everything, and is long past the age of following his youthful pursuits. Still, the old man has a life and one that can certainly be enriched by one of the following gift ideas I have listed for you. Go ahead and make an old man happy. Goodness knows he has been grumpy for way too long!
1. Hearing Aid — That’s right, Gramps hasn’t been able to hear much lately and what he does hear he changes around. Give the gift that keeps on hearing and he’ll be very grateful. Opt for the fashionable model that sticks outside of his ear canal and comes in your choice of invigorating colors: rad red, bionic blue, glittery green, or psychedelic orange.
2. Viagra — Gramma has been looking pretty sad these past few years. Get Gramps the Viagra and let them have their time alone. Plenty of Viagra, if you can afford it!
3. Football Tickets — Who doesn’t like football? Okay, Gramma doesn’t. So, why not get Gramps a pair of tickets and you take him to the big game? After going through all that Viagra, Gramma will be glad that you took the frisky fella away from her for awhile. She needs the rest and now looks like she was run over by a reindeer. Just don’t sit too close to the cheerleaders…
4. The Three Stooges — Precious little seems to amuse Gramps lately except for slapstick comedy, particularly The Three Stooges. Spring for the entire 26 volume DVD set of the Best of The Three Stooges to keep him entertained all through the winter. Shop eBay for the best prices too!
5. Headers — Say, what?! Yes, purchase his favorite car parts like a DC Sports header, a K&N cold air intake, a JetChips performance chip, floor mats and cargo liners, etc., for his 1999 Ford F-250. You know that he is planning to give you the truck next year anyway, so why not outfit it the way you want it to look now instead of waiting until later? Your gift to him will soon become your gift to yourself. It underscores what Christmas has become to so many; so, get in that spirit today!
Just remember that it is the thought that counts. The more thoughtless you are, the more transparent you will be perceived. At least you will live up to nobody’s expectations of you and, therefore, be unable to disappoint anyone.
Somehow I don’t think that this is what Christmas is really all about… Merry Christmas, Gramps!